Oh Christmas Tree
Posted in Past Life Experience on November 5th, 2005I thought I would post a funny drug story. Since we are all here for that reason right. So gather round kiddies.
I am not sure of the year but I would guess the 1988 that was my year. Joanna’s death was a year before that but I was on a collision course. Enjoyable and I was not physically addicted to anything at that point. I would take anything put in front of me but had a sort of rule about white or off white powder, nope did not want it thanks. Heroin and coke were for losers. Anyway I was fifteen and had grown up overnight. None of my friends were that young. I was a cheerleader but saw my "real" friends on the weekend which only increased my coolness in the eyes of my adolescent companions. I did take acid for homecoming once and thought the mum a guy gave me was alive and threw like a bomb but again for another time. My gorgeous friend Fred would pull up at school and whisk me away to a weekend of total insanity. Fred was gay and I was a pronounced virgin.
This was December of that year. Dallas can be cold but this was a mild month if I remember. Anyway time for the ritual dress at my house, dress, drop our drugs and go out about 11PM. So as Fred, Dany-elle and I mused over what one would wear on this night we would also work on hooking up our drugs. Tonight each of us would do 2 hits of acid and three hits of X a piece. Now we would spread the X out a bit. In 1988 we did not have discussions about all the different types you have X period. Whatever the fuck it was I had fun. Ok now that I have exposed my ignorance of chemicals lets go. I am sure I mentioned that dressing has always been a big deal for me. Well this night I remember distinctly being in some sort of gold lame skirt. That’s about it but I know it was short and of course I had on great shoes. So we leave at 11PM get to the club about 11:30PM. This was Stark and it was actually one of those hideous rope clubs of the 80’s. You know line up and go in. Except we when 4 nights a week so walking in was easy. Ok, get ready everyone put on Tom Tom Club Genius of Love… He went insane when we took cocaine… Ok now you are with me. Colorful packs of the early club kid adventures. In fact I am playing Tones on Tails GO! for fun now…. Tranny’s shakin their stuff. At this point I would feel the acid excitement and the first twinges of the X revving my system. Lights how cool, bass in my chest. Dance Dance Dance Dance. Do poppers on the dance floor. For four or five hours straight with trips to the bathroom all uni-sex of course, for make up checks, gossip, more drugs. Or off the the cold room that was dark and kept at 40 degrees for all for in our well intense stage. Then after the finally of White Lines you remember the remix with Melle Mel at 4AM the lights would pop on and the crowd would groan.Well everyone let’s go back to Kel’s. I practically lived alone at the time. We would laugh at the steam coming off of us on the way to the car.
Break: I want to say this was all before glow sticks and raves and bullshit pills being sold as X.
I had a well nice house. We had a huge bar with double doors that opened to the pool with a big hot tub at one end. A perfect place to party. We would crank the stereo and continue until the sun drove us inside. Then normally Danyelle would sit in the corner discussing intellectual bankruptcy in American and how we were moving to Perth someday. (Bella I know you are laughing at that) Anyway I would sit on the kitchen counter with Fred in front of me kissing for hours. He loved it I loved it if you think about it what a perfect situation neither once of us wanting more than deep tongue tangled kisses. I popped the third hit of X usually around 6AM. Well Fred and I were feeding at each other mouths when I hear Dany scream. She comes running in with a note and $100. Kel we have to get a fucking Christmas tree! My Mom is her unique style had left me a note instructing me to buy a live Christmas tree. She is dancing around. Ok I say Fred shrugs and leans in for more kisses I laugh as we are serious about this part. Even experimenting with drinking different things just to change up the taste of the kiss. That seems so funny now. See we always drank tons of orange juice while getting ready to prepare for the X. The then we were convinced that loads of Perrier while fucked up made the next day tolerable.
Back to Dany, Dammit you guys its fucking tree time. Dany it’s I look at the clock 7AM where the fuck do we get a tree. I know a farm she exclaims. Fred decides that if we are going to do this we as well take the other hits he has stashed for the next night. Besides I say I got my guilt money from my Dad, we can buy more! YAY. We pile into my VW convertible. I insist on dropping the top even though it’s freezing. We pull out dressed for clubbing. Shelley is moaning about eating, Helen wants coffee. Eating are you fucking kidding me? Well Dany says now that the freezing wind is in her face the tree place does not open until 8AM. Ok lazy fucking farmers these tree people. We stop at IHOP where I distinctly remember getting a mushroom omelet that looked like chopped off forearm. I poked and it and made endless jokes, Drinking our coffee and yelling waitress in as many languages as we could remember. I am sure they were happy to see us go. I also remember having a scarf on my head and sunglasses sort of 40’s movie star style. After an almost hour drive to the farm all of us can barley keep our eyes forward in our heads as the X is raging through our brains we arrive.
The tree farm was interesting. Apparently they take families on a little hay wagon ride through the trees complete with hot cider or hot coco then you find a tree an cut it down your self or have them do it. The tree farmer gives Fred a hack saw which he is holding in front of him like a dirty diaper. We lumber up into the back of the hay ride wagon. A nice family with three kids pile on. Don’t worry honey these nice druggies from the city won’t hurt you. Fred is screaming like a queen when the wagon takes off. I have hay biting into my ass because my skirt is so fucking short I am really not sitting on it. We are laughing hysterically as you can imagine. All of us dressed to the nines for Stark on a fucking hay ride at 8AM. Whoo hooo.
We are not 20 feet from the building when Dany stands and yells stop this fucking train. I look at her she apologizes to the mother. We all laugh again. We were so very rude but in retrospect funny as hell. Me sitting primly with my horned rimmed sunglasses and scarf, gold lame skirt and heavy make-up next to this family smoking Sherman MCD’s. Pretending this is all normal. That is the one she screams. I can’t remember what kind it was but it was 60 bucks which netted us two hits of X. YAY. Done. Yes X was $20 in 1988 that’s what I paid and I never regretted it once the tabs were fab people.
Fred come on be a man. Well you can imagine the come back he had for that one. Ok, well stop trying to make out with me and figure out how to cut it down. Fred and I argue, Dany is wondering around talking about how wonderful the green color is putting her face in trees, and then there is Helen pissed off wanting a joint and to go home. Helen is my hippy friend born of the wrong time. Beautiful pothead, we still talk, she still has to die for red curls to her waist. Anyway Helen steps up grab the saw drops down to her knees and starts sawing the fucking tree down.
We got to get out of here I am saying I am fucked up. I think I am whispering this but my comrades tell me shut up Kel. Oh saying I love you to the tree guy is bad? Ok. Fuck me, no really Fred come here. God dammit you two stop making out. Well you were kissing Shelley. Why you want a kiss lovely, Helen and I exchange a tongue filed sloppy wet one that has the tree farmer ready to fall the fuck out. Fred comes over and wants a three way kiss that we oblige. Its tree farm porn Shelley yells. OMG we are going to be arrested. The guy has bagged our tree and it trying to fix it to the back of my car. Looks like one of you in the backseat is going to have to suck some tree. To bad I have to drive.
Ok car back to the house. We get the tree in all of over this adventure by now. At least it’s got on of those net bags on it. Fred and Shelley toss it on the living room floor. Fuck that tree Shelley is ranting her sweater full of needles. Dany comes in eyes shiny with X black hehe whooo hooo. Time to decorate she exclaims. Fuck off Helen says and goes off to Dany’s room. Fred and Shelley follow. Dany is bit sulky about it. No matter girl lets get it on the stand then we can go have some fun. This was typical of me wanting to complete something. So we get the thing in the stand and I lay down on my back under it to tighten the screws. Oh hold on Dany says and runs off. Well I am holding the tree up and can’t seem or believe I can’t let go. I start staring at the branches watching them curling and squirm like snakes. Yes sir I am tripping. I hear music and laughter. How long has it been? How long have I been under this tree? Where is this? My mind has really begun to wander now. Skinny Puppy pounding in my ears… Are those lights in the tree sure it’s Christmas! I am laughing full out when I hear.
Kel** L*** McC******** what is the name of god are you doing?
Momma?
Yes.
I am stuck under the tree!! Help me out.
How on earth are you stuck? she says.
Well if I let go it will fall! All of a sudden my mother is under the tree.
Oh hi Mom gee your pores are weird.
What did you say?
Nothing Nothing HELP ME.
Kel,
yes Momma
You are not holding on to the tree. It’s screwed into the base.
No I am sure it will fall Mom.
No it won’t! Honey you know I don’t like it when you drink. Where’s Fred?
In the guest room I think.
Well what in the hell are you doing out here?
I went to get the tree Momma.
DRESSED LIKE THAT!
Well yeah.
She walks off mumbling to herself. I crawl out of my green prison. Where are those traitor bastards that left me? I am feeling a little tired its 11:30AM? WTF? I open the guest room door and find Helen and Shelley sleeping. Dany is in her room. Fred is in my bed. Ok well what happened. I was under the tree for hours and do not remember refusing to come out. I snuggled into Fred he spooned around me. Why my mother did not care that I slept with a gay guy in a twin bed every weekend still baffles me. You smell like pine Fred says and the giggles began.